Aye You Stupid

     Hey, you're starting to become me! That's pretty good, you know. How you're faking stuff. Like WOWWW I didn't notice at all! You should be an actor and win the Oscar, for your acting is waaaaay too good for me to spot on. That's great! I'll definitely support you in that!

     But fuck, aint you stupid, honey? ♥

     Is it only you, that actually know what pain is? ♥

     Is it only you, that actually know how to fake a smile? ♥

     Is it only you, that actually know how to lie? ♥

     I may not know how you feel, hun ♥ But I know that you ain't fooling anyone. Not me, at least. Go ahead. Hate and mock me. Tell your friends to do so too. That's what I want you to do, right? Hurt me like I hurt you. Right in the fucking chest. Hate me and cut me with your words, cover my scars with your words that is carved onto my skin. Fuck me up again with your ignorant act and your eyes that never met mine. Like what you did. You were a pro in that, remember? We used to play hide and go seek. You would hide from me and I'd always find you in the crowd. Although you would then hide again from me... but I'd always find you right away, didn't I?


     I used to recognize you by your silhouette by the window, waiting for it to turn to me, to spoke a word or two. I used to text you daily, searching for a topic to talk about, although I always failed in that. Because we're not in the same class. It was hard to find a topic, you know? So all I did was ask the same question over and over again, every week. The same question.

"What were you doing in PE class?"

I used to thank the God that I could thought of that excuse to text you

     But I failed too, remember? Because in the end, you only read mine. No reply. Just that bittersweet aftertaste.

     Then I tried to get away from you.
     I thought I succeed

But then you said to me that you love me.
And I love you

     Even after all that
     I couldn't go away
     My friends said that I'm stupid
     But I don't care
     I broke someone
     For you

     Then, I broke you
     Because I changed the role.

The loving me decided to hide. deep. inside my heart. It asked, you know. It asked;

Will you seek for me, like what I did? Will you fight for me like I did? I suppose you wont, right?

You did seek. But failed. Because it always ran away. It will always run away. Because of how stupid you are. You who couldn't even love yourself. You who doesn't know a thing about the world; so naive.

You who thought that I never loved you

Even after all the time that I spent

Chasing after you
Writing sugary words for you
Typing over than thousands of words for you
Talking about how happy I am with you

You still can think that I never loved you. Because I changed the role.
So don't blame me if I don't believe your 'I love you more than you think' bullshit
Because I didn't hear those words
When I cried alone in the night, thinking that I could never own you.

Ain't you stupid?
I broke you
like how you broke me
a long time ago.