Stained

     She feared knife and cutter and scissor when she was little. She could always feel the pain and that tingling sensation of a blade cutting her wrist open when she saw any sharp objects around her. A trauma, people around her said. They pitied her, but could not do anything about it. Her mother was there, the only person that tried to help her. She wanted her girl to go to the psychiatry, but she refused, badly. She was so afraid that they would diagnose her with something horrible and her mom would left her there 'for the sake of her safety'. She was so so afraid to learn the truth about herself. So she screamed, she thrashed around, she kicked and begged and yelled every time her mom got near her. She didn't want help. She wanted closure.

But then she did, however, get rid of her fears

     Years after that, when she was in her deepest agony, in her deepest hell that she created for herself, she met a guy. Despite every negative thoughts that clouded her mind, none of it seemed to put a halt or a self-defense mechanism to activate, like it does to every other person. He was kind, polite, and very funny. He entertains her to keep her away from the fears. He was always there for her, listening to every worries she had, every dreams she locked up behind. He listened to it all. 

Look honey, I can stop all the tears, he smiled, with me, you don't have to cower in fear

     His voice was calm and soothing, she didn't think twice when she took his hand. Her mind went blank, there was nothing else she could do.

     And as she kissed his lips gently, she wrote a goodbye letter

    It was written beautifully. On a white carpet, stained in red

   Mom, Death made me happy in your stead