Life goes on

          Look at me sitting in front of my computer, typing my feelings away again. It's not a bad thing though. I feel happy doing this. My mind feels so much lighter as I see more and more words showing up in my screen, matching the rhythm of my typing speed.

          Being up late, I got so much in mind (well duh, 'I got so much in mind' is an overused sentence right now) and a lot of my thoughts hit me hard. You see, as I'm typing, the clock's ticking, as I breath, the clock's ticking, as I blink, sit, sleep, stand, walk, run, just... literally everything I do. The clock's ticking (well, unless the battery is dead). Time stops for no one. Life always moves forward, not always in a straight road, but it's unto something. The thing that hits me is that, this all will be over soon.

          Just a few more years from now, I'm going to graduate from school, become a college student, then get a job, get married, have kids, grow old, then, blow my last breath.

and maybe I'll be a forever-happy panda

It wont be that simple wont it? But damn. Time sure went fast.

          I hadn't even thought of anything when I was young-er... I'm still young now so whatever. I was so free, so careless. How good it was being a kid right? No worries, always so simple minded. It has always been full of games, full of communication, full of people, full of love. Things like fake people were not a thing. All we thought about was only about the present we had. Then there's also a few things I personally love when I was a kid, then the next thing I knew is that, it all went away as I got older.

What happened to that person we used to be? We grew out of those.

This thing right here, is actually the 2nd most mind-wrecking thing I currently have in my mind. I'm afraid to move on. I'm afraid to forget.

HELL THIS BLOG MAKES ME LOOK LIKE I'M AFRAID OF EVERYTHING


          But.... I'll be honest here. No matter how shitty my situation is, I'm comfortable where I am now. It's like having a messy room and being irritated because your room is messy but you still lock yourself in your room anyway.


          I'm comfortable with my not-going-anywhere relationship with my crush. Thus will soon change because we're about to move on to the next grade. That stupid shrimp-brain probably wont make it. I'll help him get off his asses though. But then again, we might not meet on the next grade. We might not talk to each other again, even in high school.... we probably wont be taking the same classes. I find that... scary.

change fandom as life, haruka (blackish hair) as my crush, hazuki (blondish hair) as me

don't wont to let go

          I'm comfortable with my friends. Although they're all annoying... and one of them is REALLY annoying. Like, super annoying. But still, they're with me when I go through a lot of shits.

          By that, I mean they MAKE me go through a lot of shits. heh. They're all troublemaker


They're funny though. I like them as much as I hate them.

they make me go like this

I...just don't want to forget all of these moments inside my head.

Me and them arguing over ridiculously not important things, laughing over stupid things (mostly laughing over the one who suffer. We're cruel when we're together), getting treated (I almost never treat them tho, wink wink), just... we've been gone through a lot of fun things that I can't describe here. They make me who I am now.

WHICH IS SHIT


BUT I MEAN, okay, maybe I'm being a little bit immature here, but after all we've gone through, my crush now will probably marry a not-me person in 10 or so years, probably wont even remember me (I know rite, how could he?), then my friends will go on different life. What if in 10 or so years too, I'll see my friend's name on a book cover? on the top 100 music chart? on the billboard? in the tv? When we see each other then, will we able to be like who we are now?


That question, sadly, will remain unanswered for now. How to find out?



Well, walk on along with life.


No matter how scary, how curvy, how dark, how shaky and uncertain it is, we've got to keep walking to see our own last resort, to see our desired ending. Life goes on. Eventually, without you stopping it, it will... in the right time, with the right reason, in the right way.


I know, even if I fear of moving on... I eventually will have to.