Saturday, February 27, 2016

Aye You Stupid

     Hey, you're starting to become me! That's pretty good, you know. How you're faking stuff. Like WOWWW I didn't notice at all! You should be an actor and win the Oscar, for your acting is waaaaay too good for me to spot on. That's great! I'll definitely support you in that!

     But fuck, aint you stupid, honey? ♥

     Is it only you, that actually know what pain is? ♥

     Is it only you, that actually know how to fake a smile? ♥

     Is it only you, that actually know how to lie? ♥

     I may not know how you feel, hun ♥ But I know that you ain't fooling anyone. Not me, at least. Go ahead. Hate and mock me. Tell your friends to do so too. That's what I want you to do, right? Hurt me like I hurt you. Right in the fucking chest. Hate me and cut me with your words, cover my scars with your words that is carved onto my skin. Fuck me up again with your ignorant act and your eyes that never met mine. Like what you did. You were a pro in that, remember? We used to play hide and go seek. You would hide from me and I'd always find you in the crowd. Although you would then hide again from me... but I'd always find you right away, didn't I?


Just sayin 

Saturday, February 20, 2016

.

It's not the first time
surely; it wont be the last
and of course;
there's no guarantee that the dime
will show its different side

I gave it all a chance; you see
Just for this once let me be selfish
Let me drown; as my tears formed a sea
Let me drown, honey; I don't care what I'll miss


All I Need

God, if you'll let me
Just for this once
Let me be selfish; for I think I need that
to be happy

Just for this once
Don't stop me; I beg you
Don't let my shaking hand
Cut the wrong skin
Dig in to the wrong flesh
and don't let them
be sad that they'll have less

Just for this once;
I plead to the statue of an angel; looking up above
Look down onto me
Hear my prayers
And reach your arms down onto me
Hear my prayers
Take me there; to the place you looked up
so dearly
up high in the sky
In your stone cold arms
Maybe I'll be happy
after it crushed me
to the very deathless death
a happy end
won't it be?

,

If this is how they'll feel
then maybe i'll stop talking about dying
maybe I'll stop letting my shaking hand
cut through my skin; my flesh

If this is how they'll feel
then maybe my lips will start smiling
maybe i would no longer think that the world is bland
and save my family, myself; wont let them have less

But if

If you ever feel like what I feel
just a tiny bit
or maybe all at once
You'll understand, honey
Escaping is the only thing in your head
Not on how they feel
Just
You
Yourself

That's why I didn't stop you
with all those lies about the world
Or maybe truth
Because you wont care
not at all

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

U + You


Won't you hurry up
and take the knife
from my offering hand
You want to end the suffering
Right?
Surely it wont be that hard
to cut open the vein
in your wrist
because who

Who would be sad after losing you
I'll say in front of the person
that cries over your dead body
the one that thought you were precious
but couldn't show you so

Who would regret their life knowing that
they didn't say the words they were supposed to; to you
I'll say that in front of the people that hang their head
because they ever looked at you so oddly

Who would feel wasted
and devastated
knowing you're no longer there
in your little world; your empty room
beside that crying lady
who just lost her baby?

So come, honey; take the knife
Kill yourself even in your second life
Because who would be sad; right?
Who would care
Although it's always you;
You
who wont care
If it's not them
The one you love the most
The one that you will never lose
Because never ever their existence
was yours

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

I Plead

Hey, so nothing mattered to you; it seems
Not me; not him
Not even your life
I have no power to hold you back
Nor that I could go on, it seems

With you; the one that was put in strife
me; who was tied by tragedy

I'll say that
You just sit tight and watch me bleed
You're happy and that's all I'll ever asked you to be
Although the truth's unclear to see
But I trust you
maybe

Maybe I don't
Because I fled
at the sight of your smile
And from the fact that
I no longer
mattered
to you
And your smile
and our promises
But who I am to say
Who; exactly; was I?
and now?